Overwhelmed by Self Development? Start here.
When beginning a holistic health and wellness journey, the ‘where’ of where to start can be overwhelming.
So, you’ve realised that the current state of your health / wellbeing / relationship to self / sexuality or spirituality is not where you want it to be.
You begin to assess how to make a change, only to find the options are…many.
Perhaps you should start therapy, change your thought patterns, start doing breathwork, drink cacao or attend tea ceremonies…
Maybe you ought to dance more, do yoga or qigong, lift weights and get a PT.
Maybe you need to learn about your astrology, get a human design reading to understand who you are.
Maybe you need to buy crystals, stop using bluetooth, become a vegan, start planting your own vegetables and start working with master plants.
OR! Maybe it’s time to learn about Tantra, and sacred sexuality and use your home grown herbs to do yoni steaming…
Overwhelmed?
I know I would be.
When I work with my group and 1:1 clients I like to look at their development journey through the lens of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, something I learnt about in my teaching degree which is useful to this day.
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a motivational theory in psychology comprising a five-tier model of human needs, often depicted as hierarchical levels within a pyramid.
Base level. Physiological needs: air, water, food, shelter, sleep, clothing
2nd level. Safety needs: personal security, employment, resources, health, property
3rd level. Love and Belonging: Friendship, intimacy, family, sense of connection
4th level. Esteem: respect, self-esteem, status, recognition, strength, freedom
5th level. Self- Actualisation: Desire to become the most that one can be
The pyramid suggests that lower levels' needs must be met before the upper levels can be attended to.
E.g. We need to have a roof over our heads before we can start working on our inner most potential.
We need to be able to socially engage with people before we can build friendships that make us feel fulfilled and connected.
Many of my clients come to me wanting to experience greater orgasms and have Samantha Jones self confidence…
But where I begin my work is looking for the gaps.
When you honestly assess your lifestyle and self care habits you may find that you struggle to drink enough water or feed yourself healthy regular meals in your day to day.
You may see that your current partnership or friendship group is actually deeply unfulfilling.
Therefore, before you can move upwards in your self development journey towards experiences like feeling more orgasmic and self confident etc - these gaps must be addressed.
Answer these:
When you look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs, where do you want to be spending your attention?
If you got really honest with yourself right now, are you 95% on top of all the levels that come BEFORE the one you want to be working on?
E.g. If you want to be working on Love and Belonging - are your physiological and safety needs 95% taken care of?
If the answer is yes, wonderful!
.
Now write a list of practices, activities and habits that would specifically support you in this level of your journey.
If the answer is no, thank you for being honest.
Now write where are you actually on the pyramid?
And what needs to happen for you to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be?
With these answers established you can now look more clearly at the many many options of self development available and assess which ones are actually going to support me with where I am at.
If you are currently working on your sisterhood wound: Maybe going to womens circles is the most supportive thing.
If you are working on health perhaps yoga and that cooking course are the right ones for you.
It is the hero who goes out into the world alone and tries to conquer.
It is the heroine who calls in her guides and allies in their many forms to help uniquely shape the journey.
Remember this, the healing journey is not liner or static.
Today you could find yourself at one part of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and tomorrow your whole world could change.
This framework really helps me to look at myself, and my clients from a more analytical perspective of where we can truly tend to our desires for change.
And so it just may help you.
I’d love to know what you think, where on the hierarchy you are now and how you think you will support yourself.
If you feel like you'd like my support through coaching I have space for one more 1:1 client - apply here
