Letting myself be loved

We arose with with tender, tasty sleeping bag touches, I unzipped the tent into a landscape of mountains, glorious drinkable rivers, reindeer, camp porridge and of course tea.

No airplanes overhead, no cars, roads, buildings, signal, no artificial light, sounds, no taps, no plumbing. Nothing human but our tiny human selves.

The days took on the rhythm of our ancestors in the spring / summer months. We were on the move.

That far off distant mountain, we'd be rounding it's corner by the end of the day, making me harrumph the many times I can't be bothered walking to the shops!

Sometimes we spoke. Sometimes we were in silence .

To passing hikers we would say Hej Hej and that was all.

It was just he, me and her King- mother natures Kings trail (though I don't know if she gives names or genders to her lands)

By day she gifted us her sunlight, treating us with end to end rainbows, showing off with lakes like mirrors reflecting mountain miracles.

Antioxidants were picked straight from the bushes, various blueberries, lingon berries, sadly never the illusive cloud berry.

The animals made me laugh in their innocence.

Perhaps we'd see a chicken-looking bird, whom I could have promptly plucked from the ground if I'd wished to have it for my dinner,

the reindeer were skittish and clumsy, they ran with their noses - we marveled and wondered about the life of indigenous Sammi peoples who follow these creatures all year round.

Sometimes we saw a hamster who would dash back under the wooden boards we often walked along thanks to STF (Swedish tourist assosciation)

My body was getting stronger, but the nights grew colder.

We'd finish our day, set up camp, cook dinner and then dive into bed, the suns warmth departing made the air impossibly cold (for an Australian).

Three nights in a row we set our alarm to begrudgingly leave our sleeping bags and stalk the night sky for a sign of the Aura Borealis

On night three, the coldest of them all, tent frosted and fingers shivering we peered out to spy a sky filled with the mystical, other worldly, dancing lights of the aura.

We simply stood there, freezing, drinking a cleverly made chamomile tea and watching the sky dance, until finally the cold drove us back to bed.

It was like that. Day night. Day night. I don't know which day was what. What tender moment belonged to what day. What stomach cramp proceeded what meal.

Then, on our last two nights we allowed ourselves the luxury of using the STF facilities...

Not only are there paths laid out to support the land and its hikers, but in selected stop points there stands fully functioning shelters, in literally the middle of nowhere.

Retirees, the like of your mum, dad or mine, volunteer themselves to be stationed at these cabins throughout the summer.

Welcoming the weary, weather beaten hikers, and selling them luxurious gifts like extra gas, a cold beer, access to a warm kitchen, but most importantly...the sauna.

960kms into the wilderness we sat, naked, among fellow sore footed, light hearted hikers from across the globe.

Heating our muscles into relaxation then plunging them into the freezing lake and doing it all over again.

It feels weird to even be writing this because a reflection means that the experience being reflected really is over.

I remember cutting out the pictures of mountains and a man with a backpack onto my vision board.

And now, my own, real life copies of those photos are sitting on my camera roll.

I believe we can have whatever we want in this life.

But that in order to have it we have to allow life to organise the circumstances, time line and way in which we will get what we desire.

On this journey to the North of the North what have I gained?

I re-awoke my hiker.

I remembered how important eating good food is to me.

I remembered that the majority of the world we occupy today is NOT a reflection of what this world could look like, if we would stop owning her and start coinciding with her.

I dropped off from the pressure I put on myself to be present online, in my business, in my network and simply was.

I allowed my heart to open again, deeper, softer.

I let myself be loved, by life, by nature , by another.

I felt gratitude. To my feet. To my body. To have a heart. To make sounds. To saunas. To you.

I'm back, I'm filled to the brim with all the things that really matter.

From a Queen, leaving the King(s).