All pathways lead to god / goddess / source
When I was 25,on the same day, two phone calls apart, my mum and cousin both suggested I see a therapist.
I wasn't doing well.
I was working full time as a prep teacher, a monumental responsibility for a 25 year old, still figuring life out.
I had just discovered I had a father and three sisters I'd never met.
I was continuously attracting the wrong men in my dating life.
And I was partying to the point of self destruction.
As I deeply respect my mum and cousin I decided to see a therapist.
I saw her for months but nothing changed, I honestly didn't resonate with her.
I didn't know it was okay to shop around for therapists if they didn't feel right, so instead I decided therapy must not be for me.
Of course the many issues I was avoiding only grew louder and louder, and it wasn't until I ran away to the other side of the world that I started to discover modalities of healing that resonated with me…
First I found Tantra. Living as a workaway student in a community in France our hosts taught us tantra every second night.
I started to learn how to listen to my body. How to give and receive loving touch, how to express my emotions.
Then moving to a community in Sweden, I met Lamhita and joined her course Boy Love, a somatic trauma therapy space.
There, for the first time, I was faced with my inner child.
With the depth of pain and suffering this little one was carrying, since the discovery of my father and sisters.
From here, having cracked open the wounds, my journey of healing would lead me down numerous modalities.
From Non Violent communication, to Vocal Therapy, to de-armouring, to kundalini yoga, to ice-baths, to breath work, to plant medicine, to contact improvisation, to cacao ceremonies, shamanism, tea ceremonies, temple nights, theatre, back to tantra, then taoism and now… back to psychotherapy.
This time I interviewed three psychotherapists until I felt which one was right for me.
Through the combination of all these modalities and practices I have evolved far beyond the self destructive space I was once in, and now teach the practices that have resonated with me most deeply.
What I have learnt on my journey is, like a tree with its many branches all threading out to create one grand canopy.
There are endless paths one can take on the journey of self healing, or 'enlightenment'.
Many time, ego can enter the space of preference saying: this is the right path, this is the most potent transformation.
This medicine man has a stronger lineage.
This tantric practice aligins with western culture more.
This pace of learning suits the nervous system more.
This breathwork is better for you…
AKA mine is better than yours.
Quite frankly, it can become a spiritual jerk off, displayed in the many demanding ads on social media telling you THIS is the answer to your problems.
But when I strip back the ego and look at why certain modalities are being pushed forwards, it feels clear to me that the person pushing, if they are a heart centred being, are in fact deeply passionate about what they do.
And under the push, is a longing for people to experience what they themselves have experienced.
I know I have done this.
The modalities I work with have not only healed the lost person I once was, they have catapulted me onto a path more glorious than I could have ever imagined for myself.
I deeply desire for people to have that opportunity as well.
But…only if they are called.
You see, what is most clear in this life is that if you can connect to the centre of yourself
If you can find and listen to your inner compass.
You will know the way.
Home.
Like the branches of a tree, they all come from the trunk of the mighty tree.
And they all go to the one place, towards the heavens.
All pathways lead to god, to the goddess, to source.
So I wonder. Of all the many events, workshops, retreats, coaches and courses that you are currently looking at.
Which one does your inner compass point towards?
Here's a meditation practice for you to connect to that inner compass:
Find yourself a quiet place to sit down. Take some deep breaths in and out of your body, intending to empty your mind.
Now direct your breath down to your lower tan tien, right below your belly button.
As you breathe, visualise a clear path forming in front of you.
Perhaps that path is through a forest, perhaps the streets of Rome.
Feel that this space below your belly button is leading the way, not your mind.
Ask this part of you, which path am I walking on?
Listen for the answer.
You might hear clear words, and you might not. That's okay. Keep breathing from this spot and let yourself be guided by your lower tan tien on your path.
Complete your mediation with a boy and grab a journal to write or draw freely whatever comes for the next 5 minutes.
Know that whatever you choose, you cannot get it wrong. All pathways lead to the same place.
