Recently I started dating again. 

In the past I found it hard to navigate my desires with my boundaries in dating.

This came down to my attachment style.

Attachment is the way in which you relate based on how you bonded with care-givers as a child. 

Depending on which research you look at there are four different attachment styles:
secure attachment, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, and fearful-avoidant (aka disorganized) attachment.

Having grown up with an absent / nonexistent father I have always had a predisposition of Anxious Attachment when it comes to my relationships with men.

I am completely secure when it comes to my friendships with women / femmes.

Anxious attachment is a type of insecure attachment style marked by a deep fear of abandonment.

Dating with this attachment style has meant that throughout my life I have been highly attracted to unavailable men.

Seems counterintuitive I know, but their unavailability towards me reinforced my wounded inner child's belief that I was unlovable, unchosen and abandoned.

When my wounded inner child had control of my dating life, without me knowing it, I was finding myself again and again attracting men who couldn't commit to me, who only wanted to be casual, who were polyamorous, or who would ‘abandon me out of the blue’. 

Now that I am consciously aware of my attachment style, and have been doing years of deep work to repair my inner child's wounding,my approach to dating has changed.

When I took the control over my dating life away from my anxious child I needed to give the control to another internal figure.

So, I gave it to my Queen. 

My Queen knows how to set boundaries, she knows how to easily detect red-flags like unavailability and avoidance.

My Queen has extremely high standards for me.

She knows without doubt that I am worthy of committed love and partnership.

Her deep love and devotion to me is sometimes hard to accept. 

Recently two men that I have dated have been unavailable - their unavailability has activated my wounded inner child and instead of moving away from these men my has wanted to move towards them - to change their mind and be validated.

But when I took time to centre, ground, breath, to embody my inner Queen - she was back in control.

She moved me away from these unavailable men and reminded me to wear my crown.

I think choosing myself is one of the hardest things I have to do on a regular basis. 

It takes a courage that I sometimes can’t believe I own.

But I do own it.

I do choose myself, and I do choose to align myself with secure, committed, deep and devotional love. 

Even if it means I have to wait.

Me and my Queen will wait.

If you are looking to find this level of courage in yourself, whatever your attachment style may be, whatever your wounding..

Imprinting the codes of your inner Queen, and activating her / them through deep embodiment 

Is, in my opinion, the most powerful way you can realign yourself with your desires and your boundaries,

And live the royal life that you desire.

Embodying the Queen within my two day immersion is THIS COMING WEEKEND

9am-5pm Saturday 22nd and Sunday 23rd April

This immersion is held at Second Story studios in Collingwood, we are now down to the final 6 spots available, so if this is for you, let your Queen lead the way.

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