My birthday has always been a day I adore.

I mean why wouldn’t I? All the attention is on me. I get given presents. I throw a party for all my friends to attend. Someone makes me a cake. People sing to me. I get given new clothes to look like a fresh, year older babe. And I wear a badge so that everyone who encounters me can celebrate me! 

As I write this it may sound like it’s being written by a five year old. And well, a lot of my love for my birthday certainly does come from my inner-child. She’s like a Birthday Princess and it’s her time to be in the spotlight, to shine and be rained upon with love.

But when it comes to the day, Lesly Gores It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want too is a pretty spot on song. Though I absolutely love my birthday I don’t think there is a single year that I haven’t also cried because of it.

The planning, expectation, anticipation and hype can get me into such a state of elevation; running around and cleaning the house. Frantically finding the outfit that's going to scream Chloe the most. Realising I’ve forgotten to invite someone and feeling swaddled with guilt.

Whatever the reason, at some point or another I eventually cry. When I reflect on the deeper reason behind those tears I land pretty quickly on the fact receiving confirmations of love, or the lead up to receiving the love, or the belief that I am not receiving the ‘right kind of love’ gets me crying - whether or not I want to.

So, for my birthday this year, the 23rd of June (put it in your calendar for the big 30 next year!) I did something to celebrate a little differently.

You see if you revisit the reasons I have always loved my birthday, each one consists of an external person or persons giving to me.

Now this is wonderful, the act of receiving is absolutely essential when it comes to embodying self love. However, as I have been diving into a journey of deep sovereignty.

And I realised that by resting my entire birthday's joy upon the shoulders of external factors…Well I actually was  acting much more Princessly than Queenly.

When, truly, I am a Queen.

So this year, for my 29th birthday I took my joy, my receptivity, my declarations of love into my own hands.

I decided that while I still looked forward to the presents, the friends, the party and the all round birthday glory from outside of me, I would plan how to celebrate myself from within me.

By the time my big day arrived I was ready.

My mother and all my darling girlfriends were with me first thing (like 6am first thing) to join in a dance challenge, which I adored, but then they all took off for work.

Normally being left alone on my birthday would have pained me, but I was ready.

I did an hour of yoga to stretch my scrumptious 29 year old body and to ground back into my solitude.

I made a hearty breakfast, brekky is my favourite meal, and then ate it with my cat on my lap.

I packed my self-presents into a backpack, a thermos of tea, a candle and my journal.

I took off for my lomi lomi massage which I’d booked with a friend. It went on for over an hour and included an epsom salts and rose petal bath with an oracle card reading at the end. (Talk about friends with benefits)

Oily and utterly dripping with relaxation, I took myself down to the Warrandyte river to my favourite secret spot. There I unfolded my blanket, poured myself a tea, opened my diary and wrote about how proud I was of all my achievements in the past year. What I loved about myself, and what I desired for my 29th year.

And then I opened my self-presents.

About four months ago I ordered myself a pair of twoobs shoes, they had a long wait list and I wanted these excellent new shoes in time for my day. In fact they arrived a week early, so I asked a friend to put them on my feet and make sure they fit, while I kept my eyes closed. Then I hid them from myself in my bedroom.

I also ordered a terraphim as I’d given one to a friend for her altar and realised that I too wanted one for my altar.

I opened these two beautiful gifts to me, from me,  and I beamed.

Though it was only three o’clock and my friends and family would soon be coming over for dinner, I had already given myself all the love I look forward to on my birthday.

I was full from the inside - out, regal as a true birthday Queen.



So...how do you treat yourself on your birthday?

Have you already got a self love routine you do, or are you inspired to start one? Share in the comments below, I’d love to hear!