Head - Heart - Pussy
Did you know that you have a wealth of wisdom inside yourself?
It's true. We have many centres of intelligence inside of ourselves, but today I'm going to focus on three.
Your head - your heart & your pussy.
All three of these centres have their own intelligence, yet they have a very different frequency of intelligence.
Let's start with,
The Wisdom of the Head
This is often the most listened to, not only because it's very audibly loud, but it is also most accepted in our cultureto listen to our head.
To trust intelligence, science, facts. To rely on predicting the outcomes of our experiences based on what we experienced in the past.
Our head is a wisdom keeper there's no doubt.
It is constantly at work evaluating, estimating, forecasting, categorising.
We as a species certainly would not be where we are today if it wasn't for the wisdom of the head.
But there are limitations to the head. Relying on facts and opinions the head can be limited and rigid.
It can be limited in its capacity for trust, surrender and flow.
So attuned with facts and analytics the heads wisdom applied to matters uncategorisable can only go so far.
Lets take two examples of the head in action:
1. When the head supports dating
I'd been dating him for a few months when I started to notice a few signs of ambivalent and avoidant behaviours. Myself and my friends noticed that I'd been acting more anxious than you usual. With a history of dating avoidant people I decided to listen to my head to confront the problems I was feeling.
He admits that he doesn't feel like he will ever be able to fully commit to me.
Thanks to the wisdom of my head you I end the relationship more quickly than the past and are able to more quickly recover.
2. When the head is inhibiting the flow of life
You notice you are feeling attraction towards someone who doesn't fit your 'type.'
They don't look how you usually like your partners to look, they have a different kind of job and different hobbies - your head has made a checklist of who suits you in relationships and this person is not fitting the bill.
Based on your head's assessment you don't pursue this relationship even though another voice inside your heart is whispering for you to lean in.
With gratitude and appreciation for the wisdom of the heart, it is clear that to follow the heads wisdom alone would be to live a robotic life, devoid of feeling, surrender, and trust in an intelligence that far surpasses the heads.
The Wisdom of the Heart
Through the heart unguarded we are able to listen to the truths our soul is always whispering to us.
“What does your heart say?” What does this actually mean?
I believe our heart's intelligence is something our society has been moving further and further away from truly understanding, trusting and respecting.
There is no science in the heart, no facts, no figures, no bias of any kind.
The heart simply knows what it knows, feels what it feels, its truth can be wildly inconvenient, uncomfortable and scary.
The heart unguarded is a passageway to an inner compass that is always pointing us North.
Whether that North is in dating, in relating, in whether we need to move out of our beautiful comfortable home, or start our own business…
Listening to what your heart has to say is a deeply spiritual quest and one that is by no means easy.
The reason it isn't easy is because for most humans the heart is guarded…
We have all been hurt. We have all lost love, been rejected, been abandoned, been outcast, failed when we followed our heart and lost trust…
Whatever your experiences of pain, they have no doubt led to layering your heart with protection.
Protection in the form of losing trust in yourself and your heart's callings.
Protection in the form of violence, anger, hatred towards men.
Protection in the form of depression, anxiety and stress.
Protection in the form of numbing yourself with alcohol and drugs, in chasing peak experiences like earning money, travelling constantly or spiritual bypassing.
All of these and so many more, in an effort to ignore the whispers of truth within our heart.
But when we are brave, when we turn to face the wisdom of the heart, when we listen and act on its wisdom, life unfolds in the most miraculous of ways.
Let's take two examples of the heart in action in love:
1. When the heart is guarded
Love requires vulnerability. For the guarded heart, vulnerability is a deeply scary ordeal. Vulnerability has led us to pain. Wanting to be protected from pain the guarded heart retracts itself…but what is missing when we hide.
You've been dating him for some months, you feel that you are starting to develop feelings for this person and those feelings scare you. The last time you felt this deeply for someone they didn't feel it back, the rejection was so painful you swore never to go through it again.
As he starts to request more closeness with you, your gauded heart becomes more terrified, avoiding the risk of vulnerability and revealing your heart you pull away.
He is hurt by your pulling away and so too pulls away. The relationship slips awat before it has a chance to bloom.
2. When the heart supports the flow of life
In 2017 when I learnt I had a dad and three sisters I was unable to process the enormity of this discovery, my heart told me to go.
I packed up my life, quit my job and left to Africa. There I would have a spiritual awakening in the desert of Afrikaburn which would lead me to pursue the meaning to self love.
The path of self love would lead me to live in a spiritual communtiy where my heart was finally safe enough to begin its deep healing.
By becoming aligned with my heart, by listening to its need for space and distance I was not running away - I was running towards my deepest healing and truth. Which ultimately led me to doing this work today.
When you are aligned with the truth of your heart life starts to flow in a way that at times defies rationality, the heart has its own compass which is soul attuned - to trust in your heart is the ultimate act of surrender.
The Wisdom of the Pussy
The least known, understood, utilised and embraced wisdom is that of the pussy.
Even to say that 'the pussy has wisdom' is enough to make most people laugh, squirm or get angry. That is how disconnected we are from this innate wisdom within women.
And yet, it has been proven that pre Christianity the pussy was revered in many cultures as the portal of life, the ultimate creator.
The pussy's wisdom lies in the wisdom of desire.
Desire - even the word is marked with assumption and distaste.
But to desire is a powerful thing, to desire is to pull that which we long for, towards us with a force of sheer magnetism, the magnetism of pussy.
The pussy's pulses of desire and yearning are not evil temptations but pulls towards a destiny we can not possibly make up with our mind.
They are audacious, they are bold, they are deliciously indulgent.
To listen to our sexual energy as a part of us that has its own wisdom, is the ultimate rebellion and reclamation.
While simultaneously the wisdom of the pussy is the desire to let go.
To know when to shed, when to die an inner death.
A menstruating woman bleeds each month - we know how to die. We know how to let go.
Just listen to this passage from one of my favourite books Pussy - A Reclamation by Mama Gena
“Living one's desire is an adventure like no other. There are no safety nets, no seat belts. In fact, when you plight your troth to your desires, you're kind of asking for it. You're grabbing the hand of the Great Pussy in the Sky and asking to be broken open. Asking to be remade. Asking for the current version of you to be shattered and reassembled into the woman you were born to become. This is part of the life cycle of what it means to be a woman.”
― Regena Thomashauer, Pussy: A Reclamation
Let's take two examples of the pussy in desire:
1. When the pussy is forgotten
You've been married since you were in your 20's. You've both changed so much, grown apart in many ways. Your sex life is nearly nonexistent. Sometimes you long for desire, to be wanted, touched.
But everyone tells you this is normal. Society says a woman over 40 is dried up so why even bother. You suspect he is cheating and it makes you feel more unwanted.
You forget your desires, you forget your sexuality, you forget your pussy.
A part of you is forgotten, a spark you once knew goes out.
2. When the pussy is respected and revered
Despite the fear, despite the resistance, despite judgement from friends, family and society you dare to follow the pulse of your desire…
You leave your husband.
You feel more free than you have in your life, you are dating and exploring a side of yourself you thought had died, and yet you realise now that what has been pulling at you was real.
It's like a spark has been ignited inside you, you are filled with more joy, more radiance, more creativity, more zest for life.
Now fully trusting in the pulses and desires of your pussy you find your life has flipped from mundane to alive and thriving.
Aligning with the pulse of the Pussy is like activating an secret inner compass that exists within all female bodies. But be warned, the compass doesn't care about what is 'normal', 'right or 'acceptable'...only what is true and in alignment with the highest, more pleasure flowing version of you.
So, which wisdom keepers have you been listening too most?
Which parts have been ignored?
How can you begin to listen to all three centers?