So here I was with a mysterious German's number. Still being in a deep well of desperation for male affection, I immediately messaged him. To my surprise he responds instantly. We had some cheeky banter, including me stating that I hadn’t showered yet and perhaps didn’t need to if I was only going to get dirtier. A meet up at my place was arranged. The only problem was, I wasn't there. I jumped off the couch and demanded that the girls drive me home. On the way I could sense their concern about me seeing another guy so soon after the disaster of the previous night. But I knew I needed this, whoever he was.

We pulled up at mine to find him waiting, while I got out of the car my gal-pals gave him the 'don't you fuck with this fragile bitch' eyes. I turned to see him and wow. This was a serious monster of a man. So clearly European in what he was wearing and as tanned leather, he was overwhelming. As we walked up stairs, my mind was racing, was I even attracted to this guy? We got to my room, and his giant hands were quickly on me, then undressing me, then in me. Our foreplay was off it’s tits, he did this thing where he took my pants off half way and licked me out, but because my legs were bound by my own pants it was agonisingly hot, and this hot monster knew it. I no longer had doubts if I was attracted to him, this guy was a German-foreplay-God. After some sustained simultaneous sucking, we came back to head level and I asked if I should get a condom. ‘Let’s just take it slow hey?’ Was his response. Um, sorry what? I was flabbergasted, I felt like an overly keen, sexed up horn dog in a 'three dates before sex' romcom. ‘Oh yeah, slow, of course, I do that all the time...ha..ha’, I embarrassingly replied. Really I was thinking; what the fuck are we going to do then.

Well I needn’t have worried about what we would do, the rest of the day was an oral delight with round after round of head giving, some Indian takeout, and a movie in-between. I assure you it was more desirable than the image you may have just conjured, butter chicken was no where near genitalia.

I honestly never knew giving head could be so sustainable! I kept thinking he was going to cave and stick his dick in me, but no! Always, always with the head giving, or the mouth to mouth while hands fuck each other number. By the end I had resigned to being 16 again, when sex wasn’t the main agenda.

Along with the sexual side, this guy was a mindful being; anytime I said a negative comment he made me see the positive side of the situation, like literally forced me too.

He stayed the night, held me in his tree trunk arms and when I put my work clothes on the next morning, he sat me on his beautiful face one last time.

It was all the therapy I needed in one night. I was satisfied. I bid him farewell feeling confident that I wouldn't see this mysterious German-foreplay-God again, and that was okay.

Two days later he messaged me.

The third time I saw him was at Revs for a Sunday sesh, I was having a very good time and BAM he was there, so I just, jumped on him, play it cool ey? He whispered in my ear that he wanted to drink my wetness again, so we promptly headed back to his. Whilst on route we were having that awkward ‘we both know we’re about to be naked and licking each other’s genitals, but for now let’s have casual conversation.’ He decides to inform me that last night, after a party, a girl had gone home with him, but he didn’t feel a connection with her, unlike the way he felt with me... WTF? I was so mad, who tells someone they’ve been with a different girl a few hours ago? I was silent the rest of the walk, deciding whether to just go home and leave this rude fucker. Then I thought 'wait a minute girl, this guy is actually being honest, honest!’ Something I am so rarely gifted with. Yeah he was with another girl last night, but we're not in a relationship. Really I thought, he’s paying me a compliment by saying he feels a connection with me. This knowledge of his ‘connectedness’ made the sucksesh all the more satisfying.

About five dates in he asked the dreaded ‘what do you want from this?’ Now, when someone asks you that, to me it is clear they don't want seriousness, and I didn’t want it to end, so I casually replied that I was happy just doing what we're doing if he was. And hey presto he said yep cool cause I don't want a relationship.

A few weeks into hanging out, still no sex, he got a call from a previous lover saying she had a STI. He found out he had indeed contracted it and had to go on a course of antibiotics, not having sex until it was clear... go figure. Now the taking it ‘slow’ turned into not having that beautiful dick anywhere near v-town.

The sex drought lasted for two whole months. I am fucking serious. I think my hymen grew back.

Not being able to fuck gave me a new lease on life when it came to giving head. Getting him off from giving head had become my go to, so I had to make a sport out of it. Now I have never been a big fan of putting dick in my mouth. And I blame braces. When I used to give my first boyfriend brace-faced-head, I would ALWAYS get jaw-lock. It was horrid, literally I’d have dick in my mouth and have to stop because my jaw had gone into lock down. I was like one of those clown-heads at the circus you throw balls into. I began to avoid the sport of head giving altogether. So when the German came along, I knew I had to get my ‘head’ back in the game.

I did what any researcher in the field would do... I watched porn. I stumbled upon Riley Reid, a sexy-assed-gobbie-giving-Goddess. I was addicted to watching her videos on RedTube. I learned all these new Riley techniques; making eye contact while doing it, banging the dick on your face, licking that spot between their dick and asshole, and getting your tongue all up in that foreskin, I even licked the crap, not literally, out of this immaculately clean German’s actual ass.

If I met Riley Reid today I'd bow down to her sacred sucking mouth because the German bloody froffed my new found talents. And I mean literally, his cum was froffing like an empty keg. I don’t know if it's a different flavour when it's from Germany, but I couldn’t get enough of it, I sucked it down like a goddamn Prima Juice.

In the time when all this cum drinking was taking place, I had also taken my cousins advice and started seeing a councillor. She was helping me work through my challenges with men, and was able to give me real time advice on how not to become instantly obsessed with the German. I was playing it as cool as a cucumber and our ‘unnamed-non-relationship-situation’, was a healthy balance of activities, relationship activities might I add, such as movies, rock-climbing, smoking doobies, hiking around the Werribee gorge and me drinking his cum at the summit.

It was all going well, until it wasn’t.

The moral of this tale, really is, if you’re not a gobbie lover, as I never used to be, get a note-pad, pen, and a banana, and watch my mate Riley Reid do her thang.