Confest & the Goddess
Yesterday as I drove away from Confest I had the polarising experience of deep joy and simultaneous grief.
For five days I had been unravelling into the magic that is Confest, Victoria's 45 year old alternative lifestyle festival.
I can still see how wound up I looked when I arrived.
Having woken up at 5am for my American based business call, I proceeded to pack then drive the four hours from Melbourne.
I was tired, hot, bothered and hangry by the time I got there.
Unloading my pussy palace on wheels onto the luggage bus, then lugging multiple trolley loads into the forest in a race to set-up before sundown.
I simply couldn't meet the happy faces welcoming me.
I was an uptight city girl disconnected from the beauty of nature and community all around her.
Five days later, I drove away a renewed woman…How?
Every day I was surrounded by thousands of other Confesters, many of whom I knew, others I recognised from my community, and those I knew without knowing.
Every night I slept under a canopy of gumtrees, with no amplified sound allowed at Confest, all I heard were crickets and the distant sound of the drummers revelling dancers round the fire.
Communal kitchens were a space to share not just meals.
Extra water was always on the boil for your neighbours cuppa tea, a confest elder could be listened to for stories of time gone by, one Greek and one German toddler provided heartfelt entertainment as they made magic out of sticks.
The River ‘beach’ with its mud caked humans turning to semi-statues as they dried themselves by the sauna's fire, while many more nude swimmers cooled themselves in the river.
Multiple massages were always under exchange at the massage tent, a brave, bold being could be found posing for life drawing enthusiasts, and a spontaneous Baltic jam created the atmosphere making a movie of the sun streamed afternoon.
Whether I was on my way to an improv theatre workshop run by Frenchmen, or a deliciously slow yoga class run by Rosie…
Whether I lay in a hammock enjoying the act of doing nothing, or exchanging potent conversations with friends I’ve wanted to drop in with for months…
There is an irreplaceable simplicity in the ancient experience of a living, breathing, community.
But one experience that contributed deeply to my unwinding was my service.
Having been invited to offer workshops at the Travelling Vulva Circus (where else?).
I ran three workshops:
-Self Pleasure Like a Queen
-Yoni Egg for Beginners
-Worshipping Women - my first workshop ever for men / masc bodies.
In my six years of doing this work I have become used to women's stories, to our pain, to our power and our potential.
I am constantly learning, constantly moved to tears by the stories, by the suffering, by the longing - as I am equally moved to tears by the pleasure, the expansion…
But when I decided to run my first ever workshop for men at Confest, I didn't know what I was getting myself into.
I knew I would need strong anchors to assist me which is why I contacted Lydia and Kadi to work alongside me.
Little did I know when we entered the Vulva, that 80 men / masc bodies would rock up to receive our transmission.
I felt more nervous than I have in years.
But as we opened the workshop by anchoring us into the earth, and led us into an inquiry of Where the men had learnt about female sexuality?
Why did they want to worship women?
What were they afraid of?
I was softened and moved by the vulnerable answers.
Their fear of losing themselves by putting another before them.
Their desire to feel worthy if they could only make a woman orgasm.
The pain they felt from the times they had acted in accordance to the porn they had been taught by.
Everyone in the room with their unique life experiences were so present, so ready and willing to learn.
At the end, when myself and my assistant demonstrated live how to give a sensual massage - I felt the Goddess enter the room.
I felt that we were more than facilitators - we were conduits to an ancient form of education that was ready to be reawakened. Now.
I arrived to confest bound in productivity pressure. Overwhelm. Exhaustion. Burnout and disconnection - from myself, from nature, from the natural need of community.
I left feeling my soul had been balmed.
On my human level I was nourished, rested, well fed, well slept.
On my spirit level I was reconnected to the elements, to myself, to source.
On my social level I was fed by familiar faces and new, hearing them, letting myself be heard.
On my soul level I was aligned with purpose, and a new purpose had emerged - the possibility and desire of truly welcoming men into this work